R&B has long been the space for expressing the deepest, most honest emotions, from heartfelt declarations of love to heartbroken reflections on relationships past; no subject has ever truly been off-limits. Even the late, great Whitney Houston had a song about blatantly being a side-chick. Yet while the themes may have been risqué, lyrically the genre has historically kept it as eloquent and indirect as possible.
As the genre has evolved, the music industry has become increasing unconcerned with politeness or the potential ramifications of saying the wrong thing, and the mask has come off. Here are ten times in recent memory that R&B songs have been blatantly disrespectful.
10. I’ll Kill You-Summer Walker ft. Jhene Aiko
With almost palpable two-finger-shove-to-the-forehead energy, Summer makes it clear that her man is not allowed to have any female friends beside his lady and his mama. Sure, the feeling seems to come from a genuinely loving, (albeit toxic) relationship but regardless, there’s not much more disrespectful than death threats.
9. In Love With Another Man — Jazmine Sullivan
On the surface this is arguably one of the most honest and artfully executed vocal performances in modern R&B, as Jazmine masterfully conveys the age old sentiment, “it’s not you, it’s me.” Truthfully there’s nothing inherently disrespectful about her delivery until the bridge, where she explains why it doesn’t make sense that she’s chosen another man. Jazmine get just a little too specific, downplaying her new man’s job and even taking shots at his physique, admitting that “he ain’t got the perfect body and he doesn’t even treat me right.” It’s hard not to imagine some poor man probably proud of himself for stealing Jazmine away, only to hear this song on the radio, look down at his potbelly and wonder what he ever did to make her go that hard.
8. Break Up With Your Girlfriend, I’m Bored — Ariana Grande
At a certain point in music, if you were going to ask a man to leave his relationship for you, it was followed by reasons like good love and promises to cook and clean. Ariana’s excuse for why you should break up with your girlfriend? “Im bored.” It’s possible to make the argument this song is pop, not R&B, but what can’t be said is that the chorus is anything but rude.
7. I Hope She Cheat on You — Marsha Ambrosius
Ms. Ambrosius is not the first to wish infidelity on an ex, but this song may be one of the first to hope so blatantly it’s with someone who makes her ex feel ashamed of his day job. Marsha doesn’t hide that she wants it to sting, singing how she wants his new girl to leave him specifically for “a basketball player” or an “NFL baller,” for an extra sting. Apparently she didn’t get the “when they go low, we go high” memo, rubbing salt and lemon juice into the wound, but hey — at least she knows she sounds bitter.
6. Take a Bow — Rihanna
This song is insulting immediately out the gate, as Rihanna opens with, “you look so dumb right now, standing outside my house.” While in context it would appear that her soon-to-be ex deserves harsh treatment, basic decorum would suggest not calling someone ugly when they’re distraught enough to be shedding real tears. Clearly unfazed by rules of etiquette, Rihanna sticks to her guns, berating him for the full three minutes and 50 seconds, complete with a sarcastic round of applause and a threat to turn on the sprinklers.
5. Sideline Ho — Monica
The title is a dead giveaway that this song is about to hurt someone’s feelings. Everybody knows Monica (a.k.a “Goonica” on twitter) can take it there, but even for her, calling her man’s side-chick a “ho” in falsetto six times within the first ten seconds of the song is aggressive. Monica spends the rest of the song pointing out all the ways this woman’s life is inferior to hers, a list that includes not being held at night, lonely holidays, not being able to ask their man for money, and even no health insurance. While her frustration is understandable, it seems at least partially misdirected, but from start to finish, the disrespect is undeniable.
4. Irreplaceable — Beyoncé
It’s bad enough to get kicked out of your girl’s crib, but then for her to say that everything you own fits neatly into a single box in the closet? That has to burn. To add injury to insult, not only does Beyoncé ruin your dramatic exit by snatching your bags out her vehicle, but you’d better hurry up and make your exit because your replacement is already on his way over to witness your eviction. Just when you think we’ve reached peak levels of disrespect, she made sure to translate it to Spanish in case your next girlfriend doesn’t speak english but needs to know how much of a deadbeat you are. Ouch.
3. The Weekend —SZA
SZA’s not the first artist to sing about willfully sharing a man with another woman, doubtful she’ll be the last. Still, she manages to disrespect everyone involved, including herself by dividing the man’s time into shifts, and insinuating that spending time with the other woman is equivalent to a grueling 8-hour work day. “You take Wednesday, Thursday, then just send him my way. Think I got it covered for the weekend” sounds more like a custody agreement, which is fitting because this whole situation sounds childish, but they say healthy co-parenting is key.
2. Come and See Me — Party Next Door
Usually if someone desires a relationship and the other party is uninterested, the polite thing to do is let them down gently. Luckily, Party is not polite or we would have missed out on this 2016 classic. “Hear you talking ’bout ‘we’ a lot, oh you speak french now?” perfectly captures his disdain; Party is incredulous that this girl would even think to discuss them as a couple. He rejects this woman’s advances in the worst way, ignoring her calls and voicemails with no remorse, then turns around and has the audacity to ask her to leave her home at 2AM, and join him and his friends on the East Side. There are very few women alive who would be flattered by the invitation.
- Horses in the Stable — Ty Dolla $ign
If you haven’t heard this song, it is two things: a musical masterpiece, and a slap in the face to all eight of the women mentioned, by name. Honestly, it’s disrespectful to women everywhere to compare them to animals, but Ty takes it one step further, painting the picture of a show pony competition, as the women audition to maybe hold his attention for another night. This is the type of song that goes on a hidden playlist in your archives so no one knows you secretly enjoy it.
